Making Changes

When my son was born, Robeez were extremely popular.

However,  I was baffled when I received a pair as a baby gift, having no idea what they were at the time or why they were all the rage.  He was born in August in Dallas, so I didn't have any need for footwear until the colder weather came when he was a few months old. I began using the Robeez at that time, and quickly learned why they were such a hit. As he grew and started walking, I bought more pairs, never purchasing any hard soled shoes. In April of 2006, when he was 19 months old, we planned our first post-baby ski trip to Colorado. As we got ready, I realized that Robeez weren't going to cut it for walking around in the snow.

My husband and I took my son to a shoe store and promptly found a very cute and practical pair of boots. As soon as my son realized we were going to put the boots on his feet, he began screaming hysterically and kicking wildly. We had many curious peekers looking to see the people who were (apparently) hogtying their child in the middle of Payless. There was absolutely no negotiating or rationalizing our way through this situation. I eventually just held the sole of the shoe up to the bottom of his foot (not easily done either) and called it good. I figured that once we were in Colorado, I could show him that playing in the snow would require boots on his feet. Off we flew.

He never set boot in the snow. In fact, he didn't take one single step in those boots the entire week we were there, although he did let us put them on just so we could carry him outside.

The day we got back from the trip, I unpacked
our bags, momentarily placing the boots on the floor.
My son promptly walked over, plopped himself down,
stuck his sweet little foot in the air, and demanded 'Boots on!'
(insert mommy eye twitch here)

I share this story as an illustration of the challenges I face when introducing changes into my home. Most people are resistant to change, especially when it's initiated by someone else, and my desire to switch to zero waste has set off a huge series of changes in what we eat, what we purchase, and the activities in which we partake. I tried to begin by changing the things that nobody else cared about too much, like the paper products, the re-usable items, and buying our usual food package-free. After that, almost every change has been a slow process of give and take.

In the beginning, as much as I wanted to say THIS is our new way of doing things, or THIS is the only type of food I will be buying, I knew if I behaved like a tyrant, I would alienate myself from my family. Above all, I believe that people are more important than things(zero waste counts as a 'thing'), and I constantly strive to remain connected with my family, especially when we disagree. I spend a lot of time explaining what I wish to do and my reasons for wanting to do it, and I try to treat everything as an experiment, always leaving the option open to reject things that don't work. Still, I don't always handle situations perfectly and things rarely go smoothly. My kids seem to take turns with accepting changes, such that there is hardly agreement when I present new zero waste foods or items.  As frustrating as this is, my kids have taught me that the best way to handle their reticence is to back off. (I have found this to be true with all people, actually). Anytime something is forced, defenses go up, heels get dug in, and disconnection follows. I've learned that gentle, repeated exposure to new things is the only comfortable way for them to be accepted by others.  This has required me to develop much more patience than I had pre-kids, and to tuck my ego safely away, although I am far from perfect at doing these things.


This doesn't mean our journey is all smooth sailing now, but after a year and a half of following this path, the dust has mostly settled, allowing all of us to enjoy the many benefits of zero waste living. My recommendation to someone embarking on an endeavor that requires a change of habit, especially if the decision means change will be requested of others, is to begin slowly and with deep respect for the process of change that takes place on an individual basis.

How is your journey going?

Having trouble commenting below? Contact me at zwjourney@gmail.com.